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Ritter’s Diner
5221 Baum Blvd
(412) 682-4852
24 hours

Oh Ritter’s. You are so….open 24 hours a day. Everyone I’ve talked to about Ritter’s always loved it at first. Who wouldn’t – cheap, open all the time, you can go there totally plastered (totally), foods not TOO crappy, kind of close to the campuses, what’s not to like? The service!

At first, you think it is kind of charming how they are sassy and mean, in their hospital nurse uniforms. It is sort of funny when they just leave you sitting at your table forever, with nothing but a broken table-side jukebox to poke. But then, one day, they finally cross the line.

For me, it was the day we all went for milkshakes after a 3-rivers film festival movie. We all wanted chocolate milkshakes, except for Joe. Joe wanted a slice of apple pie and a vanilla milkshake. You see, vanilla and apple pie is a good combo (no need to tell you why), whereas chocolate and apple pie … er, it just isn’t the same thing. So Ms. Sass-Pants comes over to take our order: 5 chocolate shakes and “a slice of apple pie with a vanilla shake”. She says to Joe “naw Honey-pie, you want chocolate”, to which he replies “no, see, I want vanilla – to go with the apple pie” to which SHE replies “Mmm-hmmmmm?”

She brought back a slice of apple pie, and 6 chocolate shakes.

Everyone I know has a story like this for Ritter’s (perhaps even yourself). A story that just keeps you from ever going back. Of course, if you have a need for diner food at 4am (after even Primanti’s and the O are closed), it is the only place to go. There used to be Charlie’s, but it has since closed. There is also JoJo’s in the strip, but that is not within walking distance – if you are actually totally plastered. So Ritter’s keeps its place as ‘necessary’. Just not for me.

Get:
Chocolate Milkshakes
Fried Green Tomatoes

SNEAKY TIP:
If you like feta cheese, their Greek Salad features a gigantic block of it plunked right into the middle of your wilty withering limp lettuce leaves.